Overcoming Fear and Healing Wounds
Overcoming Fear and Healing Wounds
Source: http://www.thesouljourney.com:80/
We cannot escape childhood without being wounded. Every time we made demands of others and they refused us, we were diminished in our self-worth. Each time we asked for love and it was withheld, our self-value decreased. Whenever we attempted to prove ourselves and we failed, we lost some of our power.
As we repeated these experiences, patterns of inadequacy developed, and fears of various kinds took root in our subconscious. Then as we grew up and became more self-sufficient we worked hard at overcoming our diminished self-worth, our decreased self-value, and our loss of power. But we have not been totally successful. The reason is that underlying all our efforts are the fears buried in our subconscious. What is unknown within us usually controls us.
Typically, we do not want to face our fears. Why? Because we are afraid of them. We are afraid that they will pull us back into the experiences of failure we associate with them. So we try other strategies to succeed. We use a variety of defenses to suppress the unwanted feelings associated with previous failures and fear. And we try to consciously control our environment, people and relationships. We all have control issues!
None of this really works, but we live with it anyway. It gives us a false sense of security. But what a tremendous amount of energy we waste on avoiding, repressing, denying and ignoring what we need to face.
On the Soul Journey we learn about our fears, and how to face them. We connect with our old wounds and learn to heal them. We gain the courage we need to become more integrated and whole.
Throughout our entire life, from the moment we were born – and perhaps before – there is one fundamental desire we all have. We all want connection. We all want love – to be loved and to express love. To be loved makes us feel that we are okay as we are, that we have value and worth. And to share our love gives us the connection to our power, which is the ability to love and support others according to their needs.
Ignoring the healing of our wounds makes us unconsciously demand attention and caring from others. It makes us dependent on others in so many ways for our own sense of self.
Not facing our fears keeps us from making meaningful and loving connections with others. Fear says we are separate and we need to be defensive. It says that we cannot trust others and let them in. Fear blocks us from loving. Fear and love cannot occupy the same space. Fear is rooted in the personality, love within the soul.
The power to heal our wounds and face our fears is not found in the personality. It comes from our very essence, the soul within.
Exercises:
1. Make a list of your fears. Which ones are active in your life right now?
2. Review the last few weeks in your mind. What situations come to mind where you felt afraid or uneasy? What did you react to or resist? Behind each of these, what were you afraid of?
3. How will you deal with these fears when they surface in the future? Look for positive examples from other people on how they deal with their challenges
Source: http://www.thesouljourney.com:80/
We cannot escape childhood without being wounded. Every time we made demands of others and they refused us, we were diminished in our self-worth. Each time we asked for love and it was withheld, our self-value decreased. Whenever we attempted to prove ourselves and we failed, we lost some of our power.
As we repeated these experiences, patterns of inadequacy developed, and fears of various kinds took root in our subconscious. Then as we grew up and became more self-sufficient we worked hard at overcoming our diminished self-worth, our decreased self-value, and our loss of power. But we have not been totally successful. The reason is that underlying all our efforts are the fears buried in our subconscious. What is unknown within us usually controls us.
Typically, we do not want to face our fears. Why? Because we are afraid of them. We are afraid that they will pull us back into the experiences of failure we associate with them. So we try other strategies to succeed. We use a variety of defenses to suppress the unwanted feelings associated with previous failures and fear. And we try to consciously control our environment, people and relationships. We all have control issues!
None of this really works, but we live with it anyway. It gives us a false sense of security. But what a tremendous amount of energy we waste on avoiding, repressing, denying and ignoring what we need to face.
On the Soul Journey we learn about our fears, and how to face them. We connect with our old wounds and learn to heal them. We gain the courage we need to become more integrated and whole.
Throughout our entire life, from the moment we were born – and perhaps before – there is one fundamental desire we all have. We all want connection. We all want love – to be loved and to express love. To be loved makes us feel that we are okay as we are, that we have value and worth. And to share our love gives us the connection to our power, which is the ability to love and support others according to their needs.
Ignoring the healing of our wounds makes us unconsciously demand attention and caring from others. It makes us dependent on others in so many ways for our own sense of self.
Not facing our fears keeps us from making meaningful and loving connections with others. Fear says we are separate and we need to be defensive. It says that we cannot trust others and let them in. Fear blocks us from loving. Fear and love cannot occupy the same space. Fear is rooted in the personality, love within the soul.
The power to heal our wounds and face our fears is not found in the personality. It comes from our very essence, the soul within.
Exercises:
1. Make a list of your fears. Which ones are active in your life right now?
2. Review the last few weeks in your mind. What situations come to mind where you felt afraid or uneasy? What did you react to or resist? Behind each of these, what were you afraid of?
3. How will you deal with these fears when they surface in the future? Look for positive examples from other people on how they deal with their challenges
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by pjay on -
wow!!! this is some good stuff !!! i can't believe it takes years & years to come to the place of learning this stuff.
they should teach this material in school early on. we all would be so much better off. whenever i hear something that makes sense, something that's true, it just draws me, it just 'rings' true. deep inside.
searching for validation, for me, does seem to be something so deep, something that's always been there inside, something we were born with. but you know, i must admit how lazy i must be. i would rather surround myself with people (& sources) that give me validation, & not have do the 'hard work' of facing my fears, facing the truth of reality, dealing with it, and making those necessary changes. i guess maybe it's just so much easier to put the blame on someone else !
i also found this same truth in the bible, about how fear/love cannot co-exist. "there is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. he that fears is not made perfect in love". 1john 4:18
how wonderful to discover we can be free from our past(pain). keep encouraging us to 'do our homework' & to learn the truth about overcoming the chains that bind us. thanks mariana !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Mariana on -
Hi Paul,
Thanks for your comment. I agree with you. I guess it's less painful to put the blame outside. Although we must not lose sight of the fact that "we are not always" responsible or to blame on abuse. I personally believe that we need to make ourselves accountable when we have been abused in the past and we let abusers keep being part of our lives and we let abusers keep abusing us.
In such cases, yes, we need to examine deep inside and ask ourselves what is it we are doing that's working against us.
in my opinion, the problem arises when an innocent victim who has been unfairly (emotionally) abused, somehow (unconsciously) chooses to keep playing the victim's role. Unless that victim starts facing his or her inner self and the things (patterns of behavior) that need to be changed or corrected, it is somewhat unlikely they will magically heal their emotional wounds and stop or prevent abuse in their lives.
This is why it's so important to get to know ourselves better, without judging ourselves harshly. To me it's somethong like:
"Okay, we've been victims of abuse, what are we going to do to prevent abuse from happening again in our lives?"
And that's all about it. No need to make a huge drama about it =) But, yes, I think it's very advisable to take a look inside and face our fears and our past or current pain to address that wich we need to address.
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Created by Administrator Aug 12, 2008 at 11:19pm. Last updated by Mariana Apr 27.
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