The Highway Patrol Approach

[Administrator]

Summary

When disciplining children, it’s important that we provide our discipline, structure, and interaction without anger and hostility. Being terrified of a parent is not a form of respect – it’s a form of intimidation in which violence is respected, not the individual or parent. Our behavior as a parent provides a model for children. When our discipline consists of yelling, threatening, physical violence or abusive behaviors – these children will grow to use these same behaviors against the parent and eventually against their partners and their children.

A patient recently described an audit with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). As he describes it, the audit was introduced with “This audit is not a punishment. This audit is simply to insure compliance.” Insuring compliance, good behavior, and following the rules is the goal of parental discipline. Parental discipline and correction can be an activity in the home, not a personal challenge to the parent. Guiding our children, by correcting their mistakes at times, is best done in a series of small corrections, not intense shoves.

The Highway Patrol Approach to Discipline and Correction prepares children for the adult world by focusing on individual responsibility, acknowledging that mistakes and misbehaviors occur, and that improving and correcting our behavior can be done in a manner that is not emotionally or physically harmful. We can provide correction and structure for our children and still maintain an emotionally and physically healthy home environment.